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12.24.23 - Falling to My Knees, Sobbing

The below is a direct entry from my personal journal. The Holy Spirit has prompted me to share glimpses into my life and my relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. May these words inspire you to grow deeper in love with your faith journey, remembering that no journey is perfect and every person's path is different. I can only share mine, and I'm sharing the unfiltered version. I pray that you receive what you need and can see God's love in your life as I share His love in mine - through the great times and challenging times. Feel free to share your thoughts and if anything came through for you in the comments. Many blessings and love to you.

💛 Rachel 🌻




December 24, 2023


Sometimes I fall to my knees crying in deep love, gratitude, and surrender.

I was mid-washing my face, reflecting on how good God is, and felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that had me fall to my knees on the bathroom floor. I was sobbing into the hand towel to muffle my cries to avoid drawing attention to myself.


Winston came running over to give me kisses, making sure I was okay. He is the sweetest little love. I'm so grateful to be his "mama". Thank you Lord for my sweet Sir Teddy Winston! <3


I am grateful beyond measure! My Lord, Creator of the Universe, Father of all; Jesus Christ; and the Holy Spirit are the three most important loves of my life. I am honored to dedicate myself to them and to share their love.


I really do trust in you, Lord. You have not given me any reason not to trust you or what you've shown me.


I know you are preparing me for the best, or at least one of the best seasons of my life. You are making things happen for me - not me making things happen for myself. I'm just giving and feeling LOVE from the Christ within, and honestly, that's all I really need. But you God, YOU have so much more in store. What you've shown me ad told me... I'm so honored.


"I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."

Job 42:5 (NLT)


God, You are truly remarkable. Thank you for allowing me to not only communicate clearly with Your Holy Trinity, but to also literally SEE you through your Son, Jesus.

I didn't realize how rare Jesus shows up for people, but you have blessed me with FOUR encounters, two within weeks of each other, plus little peripheral glimpses of us walking together. I have tears in my eyes for the gratitude I feel.


  • Why me?

  • Why am I so deserving?

  • Why has Your son shown up for me three times in the last few months?


Regardless of the why, I am infinitely grateful and deeply honored. I do hope to continue having those encounters. I am just so... I'm at a loss for words and just feel such deep love and gratitude.


My life is forever changed by You, Jesus. I will continue to follow and listen. I am so deeply surrendered to your plan. It's better than any plan that I could have ever designed myself.


It can be scary to surrender and let go, but I'd rather let myself "die" so I can pick up the cross and walk on your narrow path.


"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me."

Luke 9:23 (NLT)


I'm here God. Use me in the way you know is best. I trust that you'll fulfill my heart's desires and provide everything I need so I can praise and glorify you. I love you, and thank you!

Merry Christmas!

In Jesus' Name, Amen! <3

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