Who are we to assume?
I’m currently working in Starbucks today for the first time in about 18 months. This was my go-to thing to do because I didn’t have the distractions I had at home. Our internet equipment got fried during the latest lightning storm in my neighborhood so I decided to go back to my roots, drink my chai, and work on Soul Radiance. I fully expected it to be an eventless time but when I walked in, I was approached by a distressed woman with tears running down her face, her mascara blurred, and her hair disheveled. She was clearly upset and stressed, which of course can be alarming at first. Society has conditioned our egos to make immediate assumptions such as “Go away. You just want my money.” OR “How pathetic are they? Are they on drugs?” OR “I don’t want to be associated with you so please don’t look at me or talk to me.” I spend my upbringing helping distressed people who were homeless and lost so I’m grateful for that perspective, but I’ll be honest, my initial thought was “Please don’t talk to me. I just want to work on my things and be left alone.” It was nothing on her, I just didn’t want to feel uncomfortable.
Who likes feeling uncomfortable? No one. So I’m bringing this up because it’s important for us to feel uncomfortable because of the blessings that usually come out of that. So this woman asked if I had a phone charger on me. I immediately replied with “No. Sorry.” I didn’t pause to think if I did or not, I just immediately replied because I was uncomfortable and didn’t want to feel into that. I immediately regretted that egoic reply. Who am I to immediately deny this woman my help without understanding why or thinking if I can or cannot. The second I said no, I recognized it and felt disgust in myself. I paused and told her I will check my backpack.
I knew I had a charging cord in my car, but I very rarely have a plug with me. After I explained this to her, she shared that she took an Uber across town to meet with a guy to buy a laptop from. He gave her the computer cord in exchange for the money then went to his car to grab the laptop but never returned. Her phone was dead, her money was gone, and there was no laptop in sight. The least I could do was to help her charge her phone…
MIRACULOUSLY I had a plug in my backpack! I grabbed my cord from the car and handed them both to her. She was overwhelmed with gratitude saying multiple times
“You are an angel sent to help me today!”
I didn’t think “Oh yeah, I’m going to heaven now for this good deed. “ Or “Good karma, check!” My thought was “I would want someone to not only help me in my time of need but also see and HEAR me.”
I felt gratitude for myself for setting aside my conditioned ego to do something that took 3 minutes of my time to help a stranger. I knew in that moment that I was meant to help her because I was already planning on staying at Starbucks to work so she would have enough time to charge her phone. I was guided to come to this Starbucks today and maybe this is why? Who really knows.
I trust the flow of the Universe and try to be a better version of myself every day of my existence.
’m sharing this because anyone fudge up and make assumptions. No one is perfect, but we have perfect opportunities that come to light to help us evolve. I hope that this experience inspires you in some form. I know it has inspired me to remember to not let my conditioned ego take charge. Maybe you’ll pause and think before immediately replying to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or look at someone in the eyes who is often ignored or maybe give some coins or food to someone who can barely feed themselves &/or their family. NOTE: I’m not saying you must make sacrifices, but we can all commit to at least offering a smile to remind a person that they are valuable. They are not trash being set aside in hopping to be cleaned up. They are recognized as a soul in a human body who is just trying to figure out this thing called life.
Remember that you are technically a human being and your soul decided to have these experiences and learning opportunities so be gentle with yourself! Your ego is here to protect you and to also give you opportunities to elevate your soul’s experience. No one person is a master at this living thing so remember to love yourself in every moment and let yourself grow through each experience and connection. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. This is a safe container to do so and I welcome your wisdom!
If you’re the journaling type, here is something you can do to let go of the toxic conditioning of the ego…
Take a moment to write out at least THREE times someone has made you feel uncomfortable.
Reflect on how you felt in that moment about them and how you reacted to them then write it down.
Give yourself time, love, and patience to write out ways you can change that reaction in the future.
Close your eyes and think about each of these experiences but with the new reaction you have come up with. Replay it over and over until it feels true. This can help reprogram your brain to change this interaction and eventually create a new positive habit in your interactions in the future.
Finally, take action moving forward with this new way of thinking in your daily life and reflect on how you now connect with others who make you feel uncomfortable.
THANK YOU for being you. I love you and I bless you. 💖 Rachel, SRK